Tag Archives: journals

If I ever have a daughter..

If I ever have a daughter, after she crawls I will teach her to walk a tightrope between a goddess and a humble monk. She will learn that her light, like the sun glows and grows the world. In the darkest nights of her life I will be there to remind her that the moon is above her.Both have the ability to cast shadows upon us, or beautiful illumination.

I will shun colouring books. The world is her canvas to paint her dreams upon. When she lashes out at me, I will hug her harder. When she cries, I will let her taste how salty this world can be.After which I will bake her a chocolate chip cookie to remind and comfort her in knowing there is sweetness too.

When it comes to boys? Pssssh. I will laugh. “Hunny, I have a PhD in bad boys and fixer uppers.” I will know every excuse,every elaborate sneak out scheme. I know what she will say and every reaction. Being my daughter? Jesus,what a reaction that will be. However,like my instinct to breath, as certain that the moon will rise and set. I will love her and listen to her as if it’s the first time I’ve ever heard it. I promise to never say,”I told you so.” Don’t get it twisted though, I’m a mama bear and you’re my cub,so I will want to rip out his throat. I promise to try to show restraint….try

While she will be my daughter, she will be her. Whoever that is,and whoever she wants to be. I will teach her not to exist,but to live. To undeniably be herself,Truly and completely.regardless of how many times this world knocks her down,which it will. I will be her net if she needs catching,a push when she wants one and a raw dose of reality if she needs it.

If I ever have a daughter,I hope that she knows I’ve loved her before I will ever have her,before I’ve seen her,before I knew my own name and will for as long as the stars shine.



” Why did you start a blog?”

I’ve loved writing as long as I can remember. It’s the one time I feel like myself. My real authentic self. I’ve kept journals since I was 11. There were periods in my life that I didn’t write. I use the time gaps as brain post it notes. If I’m not writing Im shut off.
Day to day activities, poems,short stories,rants and more often than not reflection.

To be honest,I’ve kept everything over the years all with the goal of two Novels.Two novels I’ve wanted to write since..ever. I’m not engulfed in delusions of grander. I just want to have them published. One copy each,for me. To see and hold this life long dream in a tangible form? Total dream.

So with that background in mind the reason I started this blog was to break out of the comfort zone I’am and have been in. To put something,feelings,thoughts opinions out there and let go. Who the fuck am I? What’s so interesting about me that I feel you should read this? I don’t. I’d never be that arrogant. However, If you do and by some sort of energy pull relate to,be comforted by or have a thought sparked ,than it was worth word vomiting over the Internet.